Saturday, February 4, 2012

Things Natalie Said, Alligator Edition

It is no coincidence that the date of my last post is about the time I discovered Pinterest, an online bulletin board where you can pin all the great things you see on the Internet. It is so much easier (and addictive!) to hang out over there, so come find me over there. It is just so pretty in Pinterest land!

And so I'll leave this blog with the latest installment of Things Natalie Said.

"The new horse pushed out a baby without marrying somebody!"

Mama: "There! I fixed two things. Am I great?"
Natalie: "Yeah. You're great. Like a granny."

"There's a girl in my class named Annalynda. Isn't that a nice name? Keep it mind because when you're a grandma and I'm a mom, you have to remind me to name my girl that."

Natalie: "Mama, I want to help you wash the floor."
Mama: "Look at all this food on the floor. I wonder who sat here."
Natalie: "I don't know. Look at all this mess over here. I wonder who walked there with some dirty socks?"

"Mom, I have a great idea! If we go to a kid thing like they don't have any family--like an orchard--and we can pick a kid!"

Mama: "You need to put this away so you can eat. You're not following directions."
Natalie: "Is this a school, Mama? Then I need to get out of here and go to my home."

"I wonder why you say grapes have seeds? I don't believe in that."

"Mom, I want Dove Body Wash."

"Sometimes I think you love me so super much, I want to tickle you and laugh."

"Sometime when Papa sells the house, I think the house will miss us and remember all the days when I been there."

Natalie: "Mom, did you wish for a boy?"
Mama: "No, I wished for a girl, and I was so happy when they told me you were a girl."
Natalie: "So all your dreams came true?"
Mama: "Yep."
Natalie: "So when you have a baby, magic is real?"
Mama: "Yep."

Mama: "Can you bring me paper and a pencil?"
Natalie: "You're treating me like an orphanage!"

Natalie: "Can you give me some oranges?"
Mama: "These are called tanger--mandarins."
Natalie: "Can I have some tangermandarins please?"

Mama: "Because that's the rule, buddy."
Natalie: "I'm not a friend of yours. I'm just a kid of yours you pushed out. But you can still keep me."

"Mom, do peacocks know they're beautiful?"

Natalie calling out from the bathroom: "You have nine things for your butt now!" (counting tampons)

"Mom, I like this! This is my favorite dessert!" (broccoli)

"What happens if you're blind and your guide dog didn't help you and you ate an apple and felt a worm in your mouth?"

Natalie's instructions before leaving me to go to Hawaii: "Sickness when you're alone: jump up, go in the bathroom, wash your eyes. Read these books: A Vat, Cat Sat, Nat at Bat. If you're lonely, just make a happy face, and make pictures, and make toys. First eat a little snack. Here's the food that you have to eat when you have a sick belly. Eat 2 oranges, 2 cookies, a white cookie, and a bowl of apple sauce."

Mama: "Now I have to wash your poopy pants again."
Natalie: "When I get old, I'm going to wash poopy pants every day, and I'm going to like it."
Mama: "Yeah, because I'll be old and you'll have to wash MY poopy pants."
Natalie: "Uh... maybe my husband will do that. Because my kid wants to play with me."

"I want to tell you a secret I been keeping for a long time. I eated my boogers. For real. For a long time. I thought you would take me to the doctor when I telled you that secret."


Unknown said...

OMG, these are wonderful!! And I thought Judith was the only one who comes out with such witticisms. Good for you keeping track. And FYI, I have confessed to Judith that I eat my boogers, too. Had some for breakfast, as a matter of fact.

thebestname said...

I came upon your blog last year and have loved all of the things that Natalie said! Thank you for sharing them.